Crazylegs could have been the greatest organist in the world if his fingers hadn't been too short. The Airborne Rangers don't care how perfectly you can play Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor, they're only concerned with your willingness to jump out of a helicopter into a hot LZ with nothing but a rifle, a couple of grenades, and the best wishes of your commanding officer. Crazylegs is of course, Airborne Ranger qualified and has been cross-trained as a forward artillery observer.

"We can be storming a hardened position, right into the teeth of an enfilade-green t racer so thick in the air you can smell the magnesium, AP mines going off with intersecting cones of fire, bouncing bettys . . . The works! Crazylegs comes ducking and weaving through all this with a weird light in his eyes and humming a selection from Johann Sebastian Bach!"

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